


callback function

by hacf



Series: parameter [1]
Category: Halt and Catch Fire
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, but the happy ending is in the next part sorry!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:28:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29806371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hacf/pseuds/hacf
Summary: “That’s what you sleep in?” Cameron asks, waving her hand in the direction of Donna. Her face is already pressed back against her pillow and her eyes are slipping closed. Donna looks down at her outfit, polka dot patterned pyjama pants and a plain black t-shirt, and sighs. “I thought you’d wear something - skimpier,” Cameron continues and Donna is pretty sure she’s mostly asleep when she talks next, “Like pyjamas that people say are pyjamas but we all know is actually lingerie.”“That’s what you picture me in?” Donna presses.----or, the AU where Gordon and Donna get divorced before they move to California. Loosely follows canon after that.
Relationships: Donna Clark/Cameron Howe
Series: parameter [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2191032
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	callback function

**Author's Note:**

> **Callback** : A subroutine function that is passed as an argument to be executed at some point in the future; is any executable code that is passed as an argument to other code; that other code is expected to call back (execute) the argument at a given time.
> 
> The first part starts around Season Two Episode 5 and goes until Season Three, somewhere around Episode 7 or 8. It implies that Donna and Gordon end things before they move to California. It focuses mostly on just Cameron and Donna and loosely follows canon. Gordon is sick, but Donna doesn't know that when they break up and he keeps it a secret for a lot longer than in the show. 
> 
> I don't explicitly point out when they got divorced, but assume it happened at some or they were separated at the very least. I couldn't find the names of Cameron's family so I just made them up. 
> 
> The second part is all planned out, I just have to write it and I'm hoping to have it up in the next couple of weeks! I hope you enjoy it!

Gordon tells her about California, about his brother and his drinking problem, about Henry’s ex-girlfriend, and a lake. The cheating comes last, in the story, not the main point but an aside. He brings up weed and alcohol and the back of a pick-up truck. He tells it like a story, like if he gives her the reasons first, the actions won’t matter as much. 

Donna smiles, bitter and sharp, and waits. Gordon expects her to yell. Part of her wants to, wants to scream at him that this isn’t her fault, she didn’t force him to do this, and he can’t blame her like he so clearly wants to. 

Donna thinks she would yell, if she didn’t feel relieved. 

“Okay,” Donna starts. “I’ll find a hotel room.” 

“You’re leaving?” Gordon asks. His voice pitches, still quiet, both of them too aware that their kids are asleep upstairs. “You’re giving up on us, now?

“Everyone has a breaking point,” Donna says. “I don’t - this isn't working anyway. This is just more proof.”

Gordon stiffens, opens his mouth, thinks. 

Donna leaves.

\--- --- ---

The Mutiny house is never locked. Donna has a key, just in case, and she tries to be quiet when she sneaks in. 

The lights are off and the house is quiet for once. The clock over the oven reads 3:54 and Donna sighs. She doesn’t feel tired anymore, only empty and numb and guilty. She sneaks upstairs, skipping the fourth step that creaks, and knocking on Cameron’s door. 

There isn’t an answer so she pushes it open. Cameron is asleep, wearing a _Circle Jerks_ t-shirt and underwear. She wakes up when Donna drops her bag on the floor, squinting in the dark and yawning, “Donna?” 

“Hi,” Donna says. “Can I crash here? I don’t trust any of the couches in this place.”

Cameron grins at her, eyes barely open. “And you think my bed is any better?” 

Donna rolls her eyes, she’s well versed enough in Cameron that she knows it means _yes._

“That’s what you sleep in?” Cameron asks, waving her hand in the direction of Donna. Her face is already pressed back against her pillow and eyes slipping closed. Donna looks down at her outfit, polka dot patterned pyjama pants and a plain black t-shirt, and sighs. “I thought you’d wear something - skimpier,” Cameron continues and Donna is pretty sure she’s mostly asleep when she talks next, “Like pyjamas that people say are pyjamas but we all know is actually lingerie.”

“That’s what you picture me in?” Donna presses. 

Cameron rolls over and Donna can’t see her face anymore, “It seemed fitting,” she says, quieter. “Good night, Donna.”

Donna can’t think about what the Hell she’s implying, so she doesn’t. She pushes Cameron over to the far side of the bed and picks a pillow up off of the floor. She moves books and pens off the edge of the bed and then climbs in, “Good night, Cam.”

\--- --- ---

Donna is gone when Cameron wakes up. She thinks it might’ve been a dream, Donna appearing in her room and asking to sleep with her. Something like that. The chances are it was a dream so Cameron ignores it, tugs on jeans and brushes her teeth before heading downstairs.

It’s early, relative to when everyone at Mutiny starts to work, but Donna is already sitting at her desk. Cameron freezes and tries to think of the last time Donna was here before ten. 

“Are you crying?” Cameron asks. She doesn’t mean to say it, only speaks the realization out loud, and Donna glares at her, “No.”

Cameron nods and hesitates in the entryway. Donna is the one who always knows what to say, not her. 

“I think I broke up with Gordon,” Donna says. Her hand is up by her face and Cameron stares at the ring. “I don’t - I don’t think that we love each other, anymore. And I don’t think we can fix it or if I even want to fix it.”

“I don’t know what it’s like - marriage, I mean, being married, so I mean, that’s something only you two can figure out,” Cameron starts. 

Donna smiles at her, eyes still wet but it’s less sad and more amused. Cameron counts it as a win and pulls Lev’s chair over to sit beside her. “I do know that once in a while, you know, life can give us a sign - point us to a different place and make good things come out of bad,” Cameron shrugs, “If it weren’t for Cardiff, Mutiny would’ve have existed, and you know, if it weren’t for Gordon Clark, I would’ve never met you.”

Cameron reaches out and grabs the mug on Donna’s desk. It’s empty, dark rings climbing up the walls of it, and it smells bitter when she tugs it closer to her for something to do with her hands. 

Donna is staring at her like she’s trying to solve something and the clues are on her face. It isn’t the worst feeling in the world but she feels herself go red and puts the mug back down. She slaps her hands on her thighs and pushes for a smile, “Listen, I don’t want to add to your misery here, but the coffee maker is broken, so.”

Donna laughs, pushing her hair out of her eyes, and finally looking away from her. It feels like something has changed, something has broken or bent, and they made a decision that’s going to change the path they’re on. 

Cameron leans forward in her chair and swallows, “I think we should move to California.”

\--- --- ---

“We have to go before September,” Donna says, “Preferably early August, maybe late July, so Joanie and Haley have some time to settle in before school starts.”

“Right,” Cameron nods. It’s early, way too fucking early, and she doesn’t exactly know when they decided that Donna was going to move into her room but she has. Her room has never been this clean. She can see the entire carpet and Donna bought new sheets. Cameron thinks she even straightened the posters on her walls but she isn’t going to ask. 

It’s something like don’t ask, don’t tell, and Yo-Yo is the only one who seems to have noticed. Cameron threatened him not to tell anyone, then faltered and ended up bribing him with the promise to buy the team’s pizza dinners for the next four months.

Donna wakes up at an ungodly hour and is showered and changed by the time Cameron opens her eyes. Sometimes she’s gone, off to drive the kids to school or get groceries or pick up breakfast, and sometimes she’s there, sitting at Cameron’s desk. 

Cameron’s favourite mornings are when Donna stays in bed and has coffee waiting for her. They don’t happen often, she can count the number of times on one hand, but it’s enough that she’s started looking forward to them. 

“Everyone seems excited about it,” Cameron offers. Donna had written them a script that was mostly talking points, a list of pros and cons that they’d presented to everyone at Mutiny. 

There’s something exciting about California, promise and hope and the potential for more. It hadn’t been hard to get them to agree, not when they’re a group of mostly loners who’ve developed into something like a family. 

“They do,” Donna says, softer. She stops pacing and sits back on her side of the bed.

“How’s Gordon handling it?” Cameron asks. 

Donna’s face sours and she shrugs, “I don’t know. He thinks that it’s too much change at once. They already have to deal with us getting divorced, it’d probably be unfair to make them move across the country too.”

“It might help,” Cameron says. She reaches out and tugs Donna closer. She goes easily and Cameron settles her arm over Donna’s shoulders. “A fresh start might make it easier.” She hesitates and Donna waits her out. “When my dad died - I wasn’t sure if it was better to be in the same house or if it was better to leave. And everything there reminded me of him,” Cameron says. “We painted my bedroom together, we only had three of the good plates left because we broke one trying to clean up dinner, and there was just - all of these memories still there and it only made me miss him more.”

“Then we moved and it wasn’t - I don’t know if it helped but it didn’t make it worse,” Cameron shrugs, “Suddenly it was just another house. Not somewhere he had been, but somewhere new.”

“Thank you,” Donna whispers and Cameron nods. 

“I think Joanie would love California,” Cameron offers. “There’s way more things to do there that’ll piss you off than in Texas.”

Donna rolls her eyes but she’s smiling, which was the goal anyway, “Don’t give her any ideas.” Donna kisses her cheek and is rolling out of bed before Cameron reacts. 

\--- --- ---

Gordon agrees, eventually. 

They sign him on to help fix the mainframe, which Cameron isn’t especially excited about, but she doesn’t want to parse out why it bugs her so she agrees. She buys Tom a ticket and he shakes his head, pressing it back into her hands.

“I can’t leave my Mom here alone for California,” Tom says, slowly. “Maybe if - if I was leaving for you, but - someone else has been in your bed for the past month.”

Cameron flushes and tries to open her mouth. It doesn’t work and Tom grins, easy, “I’m not going to tell anyone, don’t worry about it.”

“That’s not -” Cameron frowns, “We aren’t - she just needed a place to crash away from Gordon, it doesn’t mean anything.”

Tom shrugs, “Sure, but you want it to, right?” 

Cameron isn’t going to answer that so she smiles, tight and fake, and hugs him. “Good luck.”

\--- --- ---

The real estate decides they need a minute to talk and disappears back towards the kitchen. Donna grins at her, arms crossed, and passes Cameron on her way out to the deck, “She thinks we’re a couple.”

“You’re not my type,” Cameron mutters. 

“Do you like it?” Donna asks. 

Cameron shrugs. She doesn’t know what to look for in a house that’s supposed to be for just herself. The Mutiny house was perfect because the living room was big enough to shove a bunch of desks in and there were tons of rooms for half of them to live in. 

“I don’t think I need a house,” Cameron says. “This seems like something you’d want - for a family or something.”

“We’re house hunting for you today,” Donna reminds her. 

“You still need one,” Cameron says. “Unless you’re going to shack up with Gordon again.”

“I’m not,” Donna snaps. 

Cameron holds her hands up, innocent, and the real estate agent walks back out, “See? It already feels like home.”

\--- --- ---

Donna finds a house that’s far enough away from Gordon to feel like there’s space but close enough that it won’t take forever for Haley and Joanie to go back and forth. There’s a pool in the backyard and space for a computer looking out the window and a fully set up kitchen and bathroom in the basement.

“You’re asking me to move in with you?” Cameron asks.

Donna flushes and Cameron files it away for later, “I - yes? It’d be like separate apartments,” Donna shrugs, “The basement would be your’s and we’d still have our own space and as long as you’re okay with two kids bugging you every other week, I think it’d be fun.”

“Fun,” Cameron repeats. 

“You can say no,” Donna says, short. The flush hasn’t disappeared and Cameron grins at her, “I knew you’d miss me.”

“I see you every day,” Donna sighs.

“And it’s still not enough,” Cameron sings. She reaches out and grabs Donna’s wrist before she leaves, spinning her back towards her. She doesn’t realize how close Donna is going to end up until she’s there, standing in the space that Cameron’s legs create. “I’ll move in with you,” Cameron whispers and Donna nods, eyes focused on her mouth.

Cameron is about to kiss her, is so, so close to it, when there’s a knock on the door and Ryan’s face is popping in. He smiles at them, “You said nine for the meeting, right?” 

“Yes,” Donna says, quick. “Come in, take a seat.” She nearly sprints back to her chair behind her own computer and Cameron bites her lip, moving slowly from sitting on the desk to back to facing Ryan. 

\--- --- ---

“You punched her?” Cameron asks. She tries to keep the pride out of her voice but Joanie grins at her, “Yes.” 

Cameron doesn’t know how she got stuck on Joanie duty and briefly thinks about the first time she watched her, back when she thought she’d lost everything and Donna was irrelevant. 

Donna and Gordon are arguing upstairs and they must’ve gotten better at yelling quietly because they can’t hear them at all. 

“You doing okay?” Cameron asks.

Joanie shrugs, “Yeah, they just don’t like me.”

“Well, they must be stupid,” Cameron says.

“Maybe,” Joanie says. “Can we play Mario?”

“Sure,” Cameron says, standing up to get it set up, “You wanna be Luigi?”

\--- --- ---

Cameron gets home late, unsettled from accidentally revealing too much to a guy she’d only planned on doing a trade with, and Donna is at the kitchen table. Her shirt is unbuttoned more than usual and her hair is up. 

“What is that?” Cameron asks, pointing to the giant stack of papers in front of her.

“They’re Ryan’s private chat transcripts. He’d already printed them off,” Donna shrugs. “I figured daybed there’d be some answers in here, but - what if we do go under by ‘88?”

“We won’t.”

“I mean, everything we went through last year, all the battles we fought, moving everything out here, everyone, our...leaving our families and our friends. What if we did all that just to, what, putter around out here for a couple of years and then disappear like we were never even here in the first place?” Donna presses.

“No,” Cameron shakes her head, “Moving here wasn’t a mistake.” She drops her bag onto the table and shakes her jacket off, “Here, there’s gotta be something in here.” She takes the papers that Donna holds out and starts flipping through them. 

“Well, there’s all kinds of reasons that people are signing off,” Donna explains, “They're getting along so well, they want to talk on the phone. Maybe that's obvious. Sometimes they even want to meet up in person. Or they want to make a trade.”

“I met up with the joystick guy earlier.”

“Then why did you go to Fry's?”

“Because when I met up with him in person, he turned out to be a total creep,” Cameron mutters. 

“Transactional interactions?” Donna says.

“Like, what if you didn't have to sign off, when you wanted to make a trade?” Cameron continues. “You could just…”

“Do it online.”

“Okay, sure,” Donna nods. “That's just what you did, but that's only one reason…”

“Okay, look. We're never gonna stop people from talking on the phone, right? And we don't want to because that's...a genuine connection,” Cameron says. She stands up and walks to the fridge, taking out two bottles of the insanely sweet rootbeer Haley’s obsessed with and passing one to Donna. “But with transactions…”

Cameron flips threw more pages and grins, “Here, look! This is about bootlegs.  
_"I've got the Venice show from last fall". "I've got the whole summer up north"._ Here's another one! Here. How about my _"WrestleMania '85"_ for your _Hagler/Hearns "War" VHS?_ ”

“It's not gonna be every time, but there could be enough of these that it warrants building something so that people are doing this interaction on Mutiny,” Cameron says.

“Even if people aren't already trading, it's a brand-new type of interaction that could draw in more and more users,” Donna adds.

“Yeah, yeah. If it's good enough,” Cameron says. “It just has to be good enough.”

“Okay, that's...that’s interesting,” Donna says. She leans back in her chair, hands behind her neck, and then leans forward to rest her arms on the table. Cameron watches the way her necklace settles with the movement and then swallows, paying attention again.

“I’ve never seen that before,” Donna says. “But is this it?”

Cameron sighs, “I don’t know. I’ve never seen it before either, and I feel like we’ve seen a lot.” She flips through more pages. “This could be the thing that would really make people sit up and pay attention.”

Cameron pauses, “but is this it?”

“Because it needs to be it,” Donna says. “We’re only going to get one shot at this out here.”

\--- --- ---

They piece together a proposal over the next few weeks. 

Donna sets up meetings with VC firms and Cameron sketches out a timeline. They decide on _Exchange_ as the name and map out projects. It shouldn’t take longer than a year and a half, but Cameron thinks they can finish earlier. She’s excited about it, more so than she expected to, and they work well together. 

Harper Capital invites them to dinner and Cameron didn’t plan on having to stop Donna from straight up punching someone but she can’t say she minds.

“Donna, come on,” Cameron says. 

“No, you know what - I’m going to,” Donna starts and Cameron loops her arm around her stomach and pulls her away. Donna goes easier than she expects and they walk out that, furious and embarrassed and annoyed. 

“So, that’s obviously a no from us,” Cameron mutters.

Donna laughs. Her head is resting against the window and she takes her hair down. It looks brighter against the white of the suit she’s wearing. “They seemed to be interested though, right?”

“In you or our idea?” Cameron asks, drily. 

“The idea,” Donna rolls her eyes.

“AGG will like us,” Cameron promises.

\--- --- ---

“I thought she’d be on our side,” Donna mutters. “Do you think it’s because my kid beat up her kid?”

“No,” Cameron says, honestly. “It has to be something else.” She finds her opportunity to figure it out at Joanie’s birthday party. 

Diane sighs but lets her talk anyway. 

“I've narrowed it down to three possibilities,” Cameron starts. “A: Elias doesn't believe our user base will embrace Mutiny Exchange as rapidly as our projections, which is wrong. B: Elias thinks our time frame from development to beta is overly optimistic, which is also wrong. C: Elias is a sexist jerk who doesn't believe two women can run a company, which…”

“Okay,” Diane says. “Elias is a sexist jerk, but better than most. He doesn't care who runs a company as long as it makes him money.”

“Okay, then I'm at a loss because you're a smart woman and Exchange is a great idea.”

“I am smart and it is a great idea. And that's your problem. You didn't allow for D,” Diane says, “Another company is already doing this.”

“What? Who?”

“It's a small outfit Elias has been tracking as a potential investment. SwapMeet.”

“It's a good name,” Cameron frowns.

“I wasn't aware of it. Otherwise I never would have had you come in.”

“What do you know about them?” Cameron asks. She hops up onto the counter and waits. Donna hates when she does it, but it’s Gordon house, not theirs. 

“Only that they have an 18-month head start. And at the end of the day, that's what informed our decision. It made no sense to bet on Mutiny in a battle you weren't just losing, but didn't even know you were fighting.” 

\--- --- ---

“Thank god that worked,” Donna says. 

Cameron grins at her, “Of course it worked. She isn’t stupid.” 

It didn’t take too much effort to convince Diane to help them buy SwapMeet, to combine their user base with their code, and gain the upper hand in decision making.

“We should celebrate,” Donna suggests. “Gordon has the kids and I’m so tired but this is big. We should do something.” 

“Sure,” Cameron shrugs, “I’ll buy you dinner.”

Dinner ends up being pizza that they eat on the couch in the basement with a movie on TV that neither of them are paying attention to. 

“Your couch is so much comfier than my couch,” Donna whines. Her hair is up in a bun and she changed into sweatpants and an old Berkeley shirt, faded with age and loose around her shoulders. It keeps slipping up her stomach and Cameron keeps staring at the strip of skin it exposes.

“It’s because I have better taste,” Cameron says. 

Donna laughs, tilting her head towards her. Her eyes soften and her mouth twists up, shyly, the way when she’s worried about what she wants to say. “I’m really glad we’re doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“Mutiny, SwapMeet,” Donna shrugs, “All of it. It wouldn’t be the same without you.” 

Cameron kisses her. She doesn’t think about it, just leans forward, and puts her hand on Donna’s cheek. Donna kisses her back, which surprises her enough that she pulls away, and blinks at her. 

“You kissed me,” Donna points out.

“Yes?” 

“Okay,” Donna says and kisses her again. She tastes sweet, like orange soda and chocolate ice cream that they ate afterwards, which is a step up from pizza, and everything about her is soft.

Donna swings her leg over Cameron’s lap until she’s straddling her and Cameron tugs her hair out of the bun, “This is okay, right?” Cameron asks. If they don’t stop now she isn’t sure if they can stop. 

“Yes,” Donna breathes. Her mouth is red and her hair is a mess, haloed around her head, and Cameron slips her hands under her shirt. “But if we’re doing this, we’re doing this in a bed.”

\--- --- ---

Cameron wakes up with Donna’s hair in her mouth and their legs tangled together. It reminds her of mornings in the old Mutiny house but this time there’s no rush. 

There isn’t anyone who can walk in and interrupt them, nobody to hide from, and nothing they have to do. She plans breakfast in her head, debating between trying to make pancakes in Donna’s fancy kitchen or heading out to get breakfast burritos from the place down the street. 

Cameron thinks about last night, stares at the bruises already forming across Donna’s chest, the way Donna looks in her shirt, the tiny noises Donna made if Cameron pressed just right. 

They don’t have any responsibilities until the SwapMeet deal is official, but they delegated it to Bos. Cameron trusts him and she’s never been more thankful to not have any work to do in her life. But first, she needs food. She doesn’t want to risk waking Donna up but she doesn’t want to sneak out and have Donna wake up without her. 

Her stomach helps her out, rumbling loud enough that she laughs, and Donna grumbles and rubs her nose against Cameron's neck.

“Tell your stomach to shut up,” She murmurs. 

“Come on,” Cameron smiles, “wake up and I’ll make it worth it.”

Donna snorts and lifts her head up, “Smooth, Howe.”

\--- --- ---

It becomes routine. 

If it’s a Joanie and Haley week, Cameron sleeps in her basement bedroom and Donna only sneaks down every so often. When they’re at Gordon’s, Cameron stays in Donna’s bed, and they don’t have to rush anything. She keeps most of her things in the basement.

Joanie has decided that Cameron has the best fashion out of everyone she knows and she likes going through Cameron’s closet when she’s bored. She’d notice if suddenly half her clothes are gone and they’re almost caught when Donna is making breakfast in Cameron’s _The Chameleons_ shirt. 

“You listen to them?” Joanie asks. 

“Cameron is a horrible influence,” Donna shrugs and Joanie doesn’t press, but her eyes are narrowing and Cameron knows she’s too smart for this. The jump from sharing shirts to fucking is one she is positive a nine year old can’t make, but she distracts her anyway, asking for help with flipping pancakes. 

“You owe me,” Cameron whispers, smirking, and Donna rolls her eyes.

\--- --- ---

“You can’t kill him,” Donna sighs. She steps in front of Cameron, hoping to block her view from where Craig is trying to calm Doug down.

“Yes, I can,” Cameron says. “He isn’t - they aren’t in charge.”

“I know,” Donna says, slowly. “I get it - but they want to be useful.”

“By translating everything into C++?” Cameron laughs. “Donna, if I knew that was the plan, I wouldn’t have signed on.”

“But we did sign on,” Donna says. She links their fingers together and watches Cameron’s shoulders relax. “The guys are under a two-year contract with a piece of the company. We married them.”

“Well, divorce is always an option, right?” Cameron asks. “We can fire them.”

Donna flinches, dropping her hands and stepping back, “Don’t do this.”

“Do what?” 

“Make it personal.”

“It is personal,” Cameron says, “I didn’t - I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it about you and Gordon, but - we don’t need them. I promise you. C++ fucking sucks. We can fire them.”

“We’re having dinner with them tonight,” Donna says. “And we’ll talk about it like adults and figure it out.” 

“That’s a horrible idea,” Cameron frowns, “Who suggested that?”

“I did.”

“Oh, great,” Cameron laughs, “And so now you’re just informing me. Maybe we should spend less time fucking each other and more time talking about C++.”

“We’re not doing this here,” Donna snaps. “This isn’t about you and me, this is about Mutiny and SwapMeet and trying to do what’s right.”

“I know what’s right,” Cameron says, “and I need you to trust me.”

“I do trust you,” Donna promises. “I just think we need to hear them out.”

“Fine,” Cameron says, “but I’m not staying for dessert.”

\--- --- ---

Cameron doesn’t show up to dinner. 

Diane doesn’t look surprised which stings more than it should and Donna smiles, tries to figure out how to make it look like it isn’t a problem. Doug and Craig are nice, eager to please, but clearly annoyed about everything Cameron does. They leave, looking more relaxed than when they showed up, and Donna sighs, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Diane waves her off. “I just think if Cam doesn’t want to work with the guys, she should have the courage to deal with it face to face.”

“No, I know,” Donna agrees, “Look, I wanted her to tell you, but since she’s not here...Cam wants to fire Doug and Craig.”

“Really? That’s big.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you agree with her?”

Donna hesitates, “Well, I - she’s my partner.” She swallows, taking a sip of her water to give herself a second. Partner went from something simple, business and friendship and nothing more. Now everything is blurry. 

They’ve always been good at arguing. Cameron is good at the details, good at narrowing her view down to what she can picture happening. She doesn’t always see the full picture and is good at waving away problems, confident that they can solve them when they appear. Donna is good at the bird’s-eye view, is good at avoiding problems before they become ones, and keeping them realistic. It usually works out. 

“Personally, I think these guys are a big asset,” Diane says, eventually. 

Diane is looking at her with too much intensity and Donna feels like she _knows._ “But your relationship with Cameron is the most important thing,” She smiles. “That’s what I’m investing in.”

“But if working with Doug and Craig is untenable, Mutiny can pay their earn-out early and send them home.”

“But you just said that they’re a big asset,” Donna frowns. 

“I wouldn’t be happy about it,” Diane shrugs. “But it’s better than forcing something toxic. I just hope it’s the guys who are the problem.”

Donna smiles tightly and tries to keep her expression blank. She doesn’t want to have to make the decision.

\--- --- ---

“I’m not doing this,” Cameron huffs. “I am suffering through not being able to fire Doug and Craig and send them back to wherever they’re from, but you cannot make me put on some borrowed, sweaty vest, and play laser tag.”

“I can and I will,” Donna smiles. “I’m not doing this without you.” 

“You have to,” Cameron shakes her head. “I am not stooping this low. We’re the bosses, we aren’t supposed to go hang out with everyone else.” 

“Gordon thinks this will help them trust us,” Donna says, “An hour max and then we can come home.”

“Well if Gordon says so,” Cameron mutters.

“Don’t make this something it isn’t,” Donna sighs. She walks Cameron back until her legs hit the edge of the kitchen table and smiles up at her, “I’m coming home to you, aren’t I?”

Cameron hums and kisses her, “Yes, but I still don’t want to go.”

“You get to go pretend to shoot Doug,” Donna says, drily. “How is that not fun for you?” 

“Okay, fair,” Cameron sighs. She kisses her again and then spins past her, “Come on Donna, we don’t want to be late.”

\--- --- ---

It could be worse.

The place is run down and empty except for them, but Cameron does get to shoot Doug a lot and it makes her smile. Doug clearly knows she’s targeting him but he’s worse at laser tag than she is and it feels like a real victory. 

They switch up teams on their fourth run so that Donna isn’t on her side anymore and Cameron switches her tunnel vision from Doug to her. The place is big and dark with giant blocks of dark green painted wood to hide behind. 

Cameron chases Donna but loses her quickly. She shoots Yo-Yo and grins before sneaking back the other direction and nearly shrieks when she feels hands wrap around her stomach.

“Got you,” Donna breathes. She presses her back into the corner of the space and Cameron spins to face her. 

Donna is grinning and holding the gun out at her sensor, “You lose.” 

“You sure about that?” Cameron asks. She steps forward and kisses her, waiting until Donna relaxes into her and kisses her back, before twisting so Donna is against the wall and Cameron has the upper hand. She pulls back and fires the shot quickly, watching as Donna’s vest flashes red and then goes dark. 

Donna licks her lips and glares, “You’re going to pay for that.”

Cameron laughs, delighted, and runs away to go and find Doug again.

\--- --- ---

“We’re moving, Catherine,” It’s her mom’s voice, sad and exhausted like even leaving a message is exhausting when it’s for Cameron. “You should come back and pick up some of your - your father’s things.”

Cameron doesn’t call her back. The date her mom gave means she has a week to decide if she wants to even go. She tells Donna about it when they’re making dinner, a vegetable stir fry recipe that Joanie had told them about. 

“Of course you should go,” Donna says, soft. “Even if you don’t want to see her, it’d be worth it to grab a few things, wouldn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Cameron shrugs. She’s sitting on the kitchen island but she must look sad enough about it because Donna hasn’t made her move yet. 

“I can go with you,” Donna offers. 

“Wouldn’t that be suspicious?” Cameron sighs. “There’s no - we’re _friends_ to everyone else and I don’t think Gordon or Bos or anyone even thinks we actually like each other.”

“That isn’t true,” Donna says. 

“Fine, but they’re still going to think it’s weird if I’m going back to see my mom and bringing you with me.”

“It isn’t like you’re bringing me home to meet your parents,” Donna says. “I could tell them I’m going back to see my parents too, it doesn’t have to be this complicated.”

“But it is,” Cameron argues. “The only people who know that we’re - doing something are Yo-Yo and Tom.”

“ _Tom_ knows?” Donna asks. Her eyes are wild when she turns around, all worry and fear, and her hands on her hips.

Cameron rolls her eyes, “He guessed before we left for California.” She shrugs, “He’s in Japan and he doesn’t care, I think he’s engaged to some chick he met there. He isn’t going to tell anyone.”

“Right,” Donna nods. “Fine, don’t take me but you should ask Bos. He’s been itching to go back and see his grandson and I don’t want you to go alone.”

\--- --- ---

Bos drops her off at the yard sale and promises to be back in an hour. She waves him off and smiles away his concern. She doesn’t think he buys it, but she walks down the road to the house.

It looks the same. Faded yellow paint and dark green door. Dead flowers in the pots lining the stairs and a bike leaning against the side gate. She sees her step-dad first, talking to a guy about a motorcycle. 

Larry smiles when he sees her. She doesn’t have anything against him. He never tried to be her dad, knew when not to push her, and didn’t hold her fragile relationship with her mom over her. He’s a good guy, someone she’s thankful her mom has in her life, and someone who made it easier for her to leave without as much guilt. 

“Cameron, how are you?” Larry asks. He doesn’t move to hug her and doesn’t call her Catherine either. Another two points for Larry.

“Good,” Cameron nods, “I’m good.” She shoves her hands into the pockets of her jeans and looks around. There’s tables set up and they’re all piled with junk. Books and VHS tapes and trinkets. She doesn’t recognize everything and she keeps staring at the bike.

“If you want it, it’s your’s,” Larry promises. “I told the guy I’d hold it for him but I had to check with you first.”

“Okay,” Cameron nods.

“Your mom kept a bunch of your dad’s stuff in the garage,” Larry explains. “We wanted you to go through it before we brought it out.”

“Thanks,” Cameron says. Larry smiles at her and leaves her alone to go talk to a family who just walked over. She goes to the garage and finds the boxes. There aren't many of them, her dad wasn’t sentimental about a lot of things, but she tugs the workbench stool over and starts opening them. 

“Find anything?” 

Her mother, Grace, doesn’t look that much older than the last time Cameron saw her. She doesn’t even remember the last time she saw her in person was, but her mom liked to send pictures every so often. Her hair is platinum blonde, dyed eerily similar to how Cameron used to have her’s, and her eyes are bright. She seems present for once, smiling softly and raising an eyebrow when Cameron doesn’t reply. 

“I - yes,” Cameron mutters. She brought a backpack and she’s already put a few things in it. Her dad’s copy of Fahrenheit 451: used with notes in the margins, the copy of Charlotte’s Web that he used to read to her before bed, one of his journals that she doesn’t think she’ll ever read but she likes flipping through it and seeing his writing, the way his Y’s swoop like hers and his sketches, a jean jacket covered in patches, and a pack of cards. 

“Good,” Grace says. “You look good, Catherine.” She says it genuinely but Cameron laughs, looking up for her and frowning. 

“I mean it,” Grace says, slower. She looks small, dwarfed by the size of the garage and the piles of boxes behind her. “I know that we don’t - we don’t really have a relationship,” Grace continues. “And I know that’s on me. I’m the mother. It was never your responsibility to make sure I was okay and I wasn’t, and neither were you, and I -”

“-It’s fine,” Cameron cuts her off. “I don’t need your apology.” 

“Okay,” Grace nods. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

\--- --- ---

Cameron should’ve said no. She should’ve borrowed their phone and called Bos to come save her, but instead she says yes and invites Bos too. 

Larry is a good cook and he’s delighted to have more mouths to feed. He goes out with Bos to pick up more food, leaving Cameron with her mom and a girl who is technically her step-sister but someone she’s barely talked to. 

Sharon is sweet. She’s half Cameron’s height and they’re close in age, but she has no idea what to ask her about. They awkwardly hang out in the kitchen, her mom mixing together a drink that Cameron’s surprised to note has no alcohol in it. She doesn’t bring it up. 

Larry grills steak and vegetables, makes garlic mashed potatoes, and gravy from scratch. Him and Bos are both easy talkers, great at filling in silences quickly, and moving to safer topics. 

“How is California?” Susan asks. “It looks beautiful.”

“Yeah,” Cameron shrugs. “It’s great.”

“Nothing beats Texas though,” Bos grins and Cameron swears Larry has to force himself not to reach out and high five him. It’s an odd situation, her step-dad and her - Bos, who is arguably the best father figure she’s had since her dad died, being all buddy buddy in a house that makes Cameron feel like her skin is on fire. 

“Did you find a house?” Grace asks. “I read that the market there is awful.”

“I did,” Cameron says. “It has a pool and everything.”

“You can swim?” Grace asks. 

“Donna and Haley love swimming,” Cameron says before she can realize the implications. She doesn’t even know if her Mom remembers Donna. She hopes not, but there’s something within her mom’s expression that makes her painfully aware that her mom _knows._

“Donna,” Grace repeats. 

“Who is Donna?” Larry asks.

“Her partner,” Bos says, then frowns. “Business partner. They run Mutiny together.” He clarifies. 

Sharon is smiling at her, amused and a bit pitying, and Cameron sighs, “I live in the basement. It’s like my own apartment and she has the top half of the house. It made sense.” 

“Right,” Grace says. “Smart to be careful with your money.”

Cameron nods and moves on, asking Larry about how to start making her own gravy, and nobody brings up Donna again. 

\--- --- ---  


“You sure you’re good to stay?” Bos asks. 

Cameron is driving him to the airport. They told Donna and Diane that they’d be back Monday, but Cameron thinks she’s going to stick around for a bit longer. 

“Yes,” Cameron says. “Don’t worry about me, go back to Diane.”

“What should I tell Donna?” Bos asks.

“Nothing,” Cameron shrugs. 

Bos makes a face, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Women don’t - they don’t like not knowing things.”

“I am a woman,” Cameron points out and he sighs, “you know what I mean.”

“No,” Cameron tenses. “I really don’t.”

“I might be as older than god but I’m not stupid,” Bos says. “Or homophobic. We both know Joe don’t we?”

“Bos, it’s not - whatever you think you know, you don’t.”

“Sure,” Bos shrugs. “I’m just telling you, you should call Donna.”

“I will,” Cameron lies. She hugs him good-bye at the airport and takes the long way back to her hotel. 

\--- --- ---

“I can’t believe you,” Cameron says, when the room clears out and it’s just the two of them.

Donna smiles at her, too sharp. “Right back at you.”

“We agreed to discuss this when I got back.”

“We agreed to discuss this on Monday,” Donna stresses. “It's Friday. Where have you been?”

“Who cares? I'm here now.”

“I care,” Donna frowns. “You can’t just disappear on me.”

“Since when do you make decisions for my company without consulting me?

“God damn it, I tried to consult you and I couldn't find you,” Donna snaps. 

“This is exactly what I was afraid of,” Cameron mutters. She sits on one of the chairs and kicks her feet up onto the table. 

“What?”

“Every new person that walks through that door, another piece of Mutiny  
gets cut away from me,” Cameron starts. “No, no, no, Donna. Mutiny isn't  
just my job, it's who I am.”

“It's who I am, too!” Donna yells. “I couldn't sleep all week. I didn’t know where the hell you were. I couldn’t - I could ignore the mountain of complaints in my in-box, but I care too much.”

“I came up with a better solution.”

“Just because you think you need to sprinkle your fairy dust over everything around here before you feel satisfied doesn't mean it's better.”

“No, it is better.”

“Okay, but that's not the point,” Donna says. “We were in real trouble. And when I'm in trouble and I look around, I need to find you there. We need to have each other's backs.”

“I know,” Cameron says. She stands back up again and walks towards Donna at the desk. She checks that the blinds are closed before she does, watches the way Donna relaxes when she sees that they are, too.

“Sometimes I need to crawl into a hole just find my head. I know you're patient with  
me even when I drag my feet,” Cameron explains. “My mom - she seemed better? And I just - I wanted to make sure she actually was better and that Larry was good and Sharon, too. I should’ve called, but I didn’t and I’m sorry.”

“Okay,” Donna nods.

“You anchor me,” Cameron says, softer. Donna’s wearing a skirt that stops just above her knees and Cameron puts her hands on her thighs. “I do have your back, Donna. I have a weird way of showing it and I know things are - complicated between us, but I swear I do.”

“I have yours,” Donna whispers. Cameron kisses her, quick and nervous, and she steps back as soon as she does. Cameron doesn’t hear the door open, doesn’t see the way that Diane’s eyes narrow and then settle. Her face stays carefully blank and Donna stares at her, then back at Cameron. 

“I’ll see you later?” Donna mutters. 

Cameron nods and turns around. She sees Diane, but her face isn’t giving anything away, no indication of what she saw, and Cameron figures she just showed up. She doesn’t worry about it and she smiles at her, slipping past her and heading back to her own office.  


\--- --- ---

The invite to Diane’s house is suspicious. Donna says as much and Diane rolls her eyes, “I was planning on doing this before I saw you two - whatever, you two are doing.”

Donna flinches, “It isn’t affecting the business.”

“I know,” Diane shrugs, “I still think you two need a break.”

\--- --- ---

“Why is Diane sending us on a romantic weekend trip?” Cameron asks. 

Donna is driving this time and she’s been quiet, “Romantic?”

Cameron shrugs, “It’s almost been six months since we’ve - started doing this.”

“Doing this?” Donna repeats.

“You know what I mean,” Cameron sighs. 

“Yeah, I do,” Donna says. “We should - talk about us, soon. Eventually people are going to figure it out.”

“Okay,” Cameron agrees. She feels restless all of a sudden and she reaches forward to turn the radio up. She tugs her legs up under her and leans her head against the window, watching blanky out the window until she falls asleep.

Donna wakes her up when they get there. There’s a look on her face, too soft, and Cameron blinks at her. 

“Come on,” Donna says, “I can’t carry you inside.”

\--- --- ---

Somehow they end up in the backyard. It’s huge and mostly all grass, dark green and itchy against their skin. 

“Did you ever think we’d be here?” Donna asks.

“What? At Diane’s fancy ass wine vacation home?”

“No,” Donna rolls her eyes. “California. Together with a pretty successful company and even more ideas.”

“Together?”

“Yes,” Donna sighs. She rolls over so she can face Cameron. The grass feels slightly damp but she doesn’t care. “We are together, right? I’m not seeing anyone else.”

“Me either,” Cameron says.

“Good,” Donna says. “I don’t - sometimes I think you don’t need me, for any of this.” 

“How many times do you need to hear that I can't do this without you?” Cameron frowns, “I’m not - I think words are stupid, okay? But Mutiny is one of the most important things to me, ever, but you - you’re Mutiny, too. I don’t want to do this with anyone else, any of it.” 

It feels like she’s saying too much, _I love you_ and _I can’t imagine my life without you._ But Donna is smiling at her, her nose scrunching up, and her eyes shining in the lights hung around the backyard, and it doesn’t feel like she’s falling, doesn’t feel like something she’s going to regret. It feels right, like she should’ve said it earlier, like Donna understands what she means and what she can’t say out loud. 

Donna kisses her and Cameron rolls them over, hovering on top of Donna. Her hair is the longest it’s ever been, long enough that it reaches the sides of Donna’s face and hides them. 

“We should go inside,” Donna breathes.

\--- --- ---

“Since when do you own flannels?” Cameron asks, her fingers moving quickly to get the buttons undone. She’s tempted to just rip, thinks it’d be dramatic and kind of sexy, but Donna is giving her a look like she knows what she’s thinking. She pushes Cameron back onto the bed and gets the rest of them undone by herself. 

Cameron leans back on the bed and takes a second to stare at her, to get a good look at Donna in nothing about a dark green bra and an open flannel shirt. Her pants are long gone and Cameron lets her eyes drop slowly, to the flat of Donna’s stomach, the curve of her lips and the light bruises there in the shape of Cameron’s thumbs. 

“You’ve already seen this one,” Donna murmurs, slipping the flannel off her shoulders and throwing it towards the pile of clothes on the ground. She crawls onto the bed, straddling Cameron’s hips, and pinning her hands back over her head.

“Doesn’t mean I’ve gotten tired of it,” Cameron points out. 

Donna rolls her eyes but Cameron is tugging her down to kiss her, nipping at Donna’s lower lip and slipping one hand back to undo her bra. She’s gotten fast at it and is absolutely too smug about it, and Donna leans back to take it off completely.

“I think that’s a new record,” Cameron mutters. 

“Are you timing it?” Donna asks and it fades off into a groan, Cameron reaching out to grab the hair at the back of Donna’s head and pulling her back, kissing her quickly, and then moving her mouth along the edge of Donna’s jaw, then the column of her neck. 

Cameron goes slowly, pressure alternating between feather-light and sharp teeth, her hands running along Donna’s back restless. 

“Cameron,” Donna whines, sitting back a bit. She grabs Cameron’s hand and tugs it to her own chest, “Please.” Cameron sits up more, thumbing at Donna’s nipple and shuffling back until she’s against the headboard when Donna’s distracted. 

“Impatient,” Cameron whispers. She loves when Donna gets like this, pliant and soft and desperate, when it doesn’t take a lot to get her to beg. “I like you like this,” Cameron murmurs.

“Like what?” Donna questions. Her back arches, hips tilting forward, and Cameron drags her hand down slowly towards the band of Donna’s underwear. 

Cameron hums and traces her fingers along the darkened patch, “Wet, mostly.” She is wet, very wet, and her hips are moving, chasing Cameron’s hand. Her own hands are on her own nipples, rolling them between clever fingers, and her head is tilted back. 

Sometimes, Cameron still can’t believe that this is real, that it’s Donna, hovering above her, and she groans, “Fuck, Donna,” Her voice is shaky, like she’s the one being toyed with and not Donna. 

Cameron digs her thumbs past Donna’s underwear, laughs at how Donna lifts her leg up to slip them off but ends up rolling to the side and off of Cameron’s lap. “Jesus,” Cameron breathes. Donna is supine now, legs spread open and underwear still hooked on one leg. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” Cameron breathes and Donna groans, “Do something about it.” 

Cameron nods, absentmindedly, and cups her hand over Donna’s cunt, “You look -” 

Donna writhes against her. She’s flushed from her cheeks down to her chest and Cameron grins at her. 

“Cameron,” Donna whines. “I swear to god - you need to fuck me or I’m going to -” She’s cut off with the first press of Cameron’s tongue against her and her hips snap up again. 

“More,” Donna says. She isn’t going to say please again, even if she’s too distracted to think about it, the slide of Cameron’s mouth sucking on her, licking at her teasingly, too light to accomplish anything, but Cameron likes to go slow, drawing lines between her pussy and her clit. 

Cameron is careful when she’s looking to make Donna beg, how much tongue she uses and how much pressure. She’s too aware of the power of her own mouth, how easy it is to make it impossible for Donna to think, how she has to focus on breathing instead of whining for more. 

“Something,” Donna begs, her cunt feels achingly empty and she tries to squeeze her legs together, but Cameron blocks her. “Anything, Cameron please, just put something in me.” 

Cameron eventually moves her hand, fingers slipping inside easily. She moves in and out, the full length of her fingers, and one long flick from her fingers to Donna’s clit, is enough to push her over the edge. Donna’s breath hitches and her face is screwed up so tightly. She gasps, the most inelegant Cameron ever sees her, and her hands are in Cameron’s hair. Her legs spread even further and Cameron moves her head down to lick her again. She goes faster this time, steady motions of her fingers, and more pressure with her tongue. 

It feels like winning, Donna making high pitched noises every time Cameron presses just right, and her hips twitching. Donna is sensitive, Cameron knows that, and she presses harder and sucks at her clit, and grins when Donna yells her name and tightens her hand in Cameron’s hair.

Cameron licks her through her second orgasm, light and slow, the way she’s learned Donna likes. 

“Fuck,” Donna murmurs and Cameron grins, slipping her fingers out, and looking up ato beam at her. Donna’s hair is a mess and her face is bright red. “Come up here,” Donna says, pushing her hair back off her face. She kisses her, wet and open, slipping her leg between Cameron’s and pushing up.

“Give me a minute,” Donna mutters, “then I’ll get you.”

Cameron nods and doesn’t say, “I love you.”

\--- --- ---

“How was your weekend?” Gordon asks. 

They started going out for dinner once a month, to catch either up on their own weeks with their kids, and to try to be friends.

“Good,” Donna shrugs. She feels like she’s blushing, even if there’s no way Gordon can know. “Are you getting the salmon?”

“The chicken parm,” Gordon shakes his head. “Bos said you went up to Diane’s lakehouse.”

“Yes,” Donna nods. “It was - good.” 

Gordon hums and taps at the menu. He’s looked annoyed since Donna sat down and this time she wasn’t even late.

“Gordon,” Donna sighs, “just ask what you want to ask.”

“Are you seeing someone?” 

“What?” Donna blinks, “No.”

“Are you sure?” Gordon presses. “Because we said we’d tell each other, if we did, because of the girls.”

“I know,” Donna swallows. “I’m not. Are you?”

“No,” Gordon shrugs. “I’ve gone on a few dates but well, Joanie ruined the last one.”

Donna laughs and he rolls his eyes, but he seems assured. 

“It just feels like you’re hiding something,” Gordon says. “And I want to trust you and I do, but I - I want us to be friends.”

“I want to go forward with the IPO,” Donna blurts. She’s been thinking about it for a while, but hasn’t been able to get Cameron to agree to it. It’s pissing her off and they aren’t good at talking when they’re actually fighting. They’re good at easy fights that push each other, but this has been different. This is them disagreeing about one of the things they care about the most. 

“Shit,” Gordon frowns. “But you can’t, right? Cameron has all the power.”

“Well,” Donna hesitates. “If I forced a vote and if I got Diane, you and Bos on my side, we’d have the percentage to go against her.”

“That’s a big if,” Gordon says. “You’re really thinking about this?”

“Yes,” Donna frowns. “No, I don’t know - I just really think it’s important to go forward with it now.” 

Gordon nods, “I mean - sure, but if Cameron can fix everything, it’d be a better product, wouldn’t it?”

“That’s another big if,” Donna says. “I don’t know. I’m not - I haven’t decided anything either. Diane agrees with me, but I don’t know if Bos would side with her or Cameron.”

“Do you think you have me?” Gordon asks.

“I’m asking if I do,” Donna says. 

The waiter comes back before Gordon can answer and Donna is happy to move on when she leaves. They talk about how Haley seems to be interested in coding but hasn’t asked them about it yet and how Joanie’s list of schools is suspiciously blank. 

Gordon doesn’t tell her how he’d vote and Donna is too scared to ask him again.

\--- --- ---

“Donna wants to move forward with the IPO,” Gordon says.

“Yeah, I know,” Cameron says. 

Gordon frowns, looking over both shoulders before he leans in closer, “With or without you.”

“Okay,” Cameron shrugs. “Tough titties. I don’t want to and it’s my company.”

“Yes, but you’re only the plurality shareholder. You own the most, sure, but if she gets everyone with a stake in this company, to side with her…” Gordon trails off. 

Cameron flinches. She isn’t stupid, she did the math, and she knew it was possible to go against her. She just didn’t think Donna would.

“Okay,” Cameron swallows. “Doug and Craig will obviously jump at the chance to screw me, but even if she manages to convince Diane, that still leaves you and Bos. Game over.”

“It leaves Bos,” Gordon says. He even manages to look apologetic about it and Cameron laughs. “My vote has to be with her,” Gordon frowns, “even if I’m against it. I’m sorry.”

“She’s out here throwing me a party,” Cameron says. “And you’re going to side with that lying, two-faced, bitch -”

“-Careful, okay?” Gordon cuts her off, “That’s my wife.”

“Ex-wife,” Cameron corrects. It feels like an important distinction. Papers have been signed, dates have been gone on, and Donna spends every night in Cameron’s bed on the weeks she doesn’t have the kids. 

“Right,” Gordon frowns. He blinks at her, like he can’t piece it together, and Cameron wants to laugh or scream or both. “But she’s still the mother of my kids.”

“Lucky you,” Cameron says, acidic, and spins towards the meeting room. 

\--- --- ---

“I’ve had some concerns,” Cameron starts. She stands at the head of the table, hands on top of the chair because she can’t handle not moving. “About Mutiny’s direction, concerns that I haven’t effectively expressed. That’s on me.”

Cameron makes sure to look at everyone except Donna. Donna is the only one who could undo her, who could make her question how much she wants to fight this on the chance it lets her keep Donna. 

“Things are moving fast, faster than I ever imagined they would. It’s an exciting time, but we are at a crossroads,” Cameron sneaks a look at Donna. Her arms are crossed and she looks worried. “And we have to make a decision together. I know you all want to move forward on the IPO. I do too. But I don’t think rushing into it is in our best interests.”

“Can I say something?” Donna asks. Cameron hums but doesn’t look back at her. She stares at the pictures above the desk, pictures of the old Mutiny house, of Bos’ grandson, Haley and Joanie, her father before he went to war, Joe and Gordon at COMDEX. 

“The company is valued for what it is and does right now,” Donna points out. “The market likes Mutiny, but in a year or two or however long it takes to implement the changes you have in mind, who knows?”

Cameron sits down and regrets it immediately. Donna is talking to her, nobody else, and it isn’t like anyone else matters, but the lines are blurring between Mutiny and their own relationship, between business and pleasure. 

“We can’t count on tomorrow’s landscape looking like today’s,” Donna says, quieter. Part of Cameron wonders if Diane can even hear her. 

“Mutiny isn’t sustainable as it exists now,” Cameron says, “Our whole user base is tied to the Commodore 64. We need to diversify to other platforms in order to grow.” Cameron turns to Diane, “And isn’t that what Wall Street likes? Growth? The kind of investment I’m talking about, in time and money, will pay off and smart investors will see that.

“Your ideas are good, Cameron,” Donna says and Cameron flinches. Cameron isn’t a good sign. It’s business now and Cameron knows that nothing else matters. 

“And some of them are even great. And I want to explore all of them, with you. All of them,” Donna says. The last part is quieter and Cameron swallows. It’s whiplash and she can’t separate the two of them. They don’t talk about the future. They talk about the present and the future of technology, how the point is to bring people together, to connect the world in ways that seemed impossible before. They don’t talk about each other and the connection they’ve built. They don’t talk about how shaky the foundation is, how Yo-Yo is still the only person who knows. 

“But why can’t we do that after -” Donna stumbles, “after we’ve gone public?” It’s too perfect of a metaphor that Cameron wants to laugh. “We don’t have to wait to try and make something perfect. Perfect is the enemy of good and Mutiny is very, very good right now, as it is.”

“Donna, have you been on SwapMeet lately? It's like an 8-bit mall. It's lost what made it a community. We need to make it feel alive again or people are going to leave,” Cameron says, “And we'll just be hosting a bunch of tacky businesses selling junk to nobody.”

“People aren’t going to leave,” Donna says. Cameron lets herself hope that Donna means she isn’t leaving, that she isn’t going to put it to a vote, and force Cameron’s hand.

“We can’t afford to be naive here. If we put off these changes, we won’t be able to make them the right way,” Cameron says. 

“You mean your way,” Donna says. 

“I mean, we’ll be so focused on PE ratios and shareholder values that we won’t be able to innovate and respond quickly,” Cameron breathes, “Mutiny won’t - Mutiny won’t be Mutiny, anymore. We’ll lose the company’s soul.”

“Say we do it your way,” Donna says. “What happens if your ideas, good as they are, don't work or backfire? We risk losing our current valuation. Going public doesn't mean we stop innovating. We can continue to experiment and improve as we go, especially with someone as brilliant as you leading the way.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

“I’m not patronizing you.”

“You’re handling me like you always do and I’m sick of it,” Cameron snaps. “You’re always right, I get it, you get the final say and you choose what we do and when we do it, but I’m so fucking tired of being at your beck and call and doing all the work.”

It isn’t about Mutiny more and Cameron knows that all of them have to have figured it out by now. Bos is looking at her and then back at Donna, like the puzzle pieces are settling into place, and Diane doesn’t even look surprised. Cameron doesn’t look at Gordon, doesn’t want to know if he’s figured it out. 

“Listen,” Cameron says, her voice wavers and she clears her throat, focusing on Diane. “I’m trying to explain some very real risks that you’re not willing to acknowledge to actual stakeholders in the company. We can’t afford to be impulsive here.”

“You’re calling me impulsive?” Donna laughs, “Wow.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Cameron can’t answer without giving too much away and she already knows they both revealed too much. Gordon looks frozen in place and Bos is trying to get Diane to do something. 

“We’re getting off track here,” Diane interrupts and Cameron suddenly wonders if she _knows._

“Diane, it’s mostly your thoughts coming out of her mouth, so I can’t imagine what you have to add to this discussion,” Cameron says, fake sweet. 

“Jesus, I don’t know who should be more insulted,” Donna says, “Trust me, if I’m expressing an opinion, it’s because I believe it.”

“I should trust you,” Cameron grins, it feels fake on her face and Donna wavers, pitching forward in her chair and settling back again, “Yes, of course!” Cameron laughs, “I mean - unless you’re lying now, like you lie to everyone else all of the time and like you lied about Doug and Craig. Did you know about that?” Cameron asks and she doesn’t know who she’s talking to, Gordon or Diane, and about what. 

Donna looks as miserable as Cameron feels, eyes bluer than usual and her mouth thinned out.

“That when you told her it was fine if I fired them, she told me that I had to keep them on?” Cameron clarifies. She can see Donna relax out of the corner of their eye, relieved that the secret Cameron told isn’t the one she actually cares about hiding. 

“Is that the sort of person that you want to trust with this business going forward?”

“You mean the kind of person who actually tries to make things work instead of fighting with anybody who threatens her saviour complex?”

“I get along fine with people!”

“You alienate everybody!”

“Says the woman can’t even admit that we’re -” Cameron stops. 

“My God!” Bos yells, “You two go to your corners and wipe the blood off your mouths and we will revisit -”

“-This gets decided tonight,” Cameron slams the door that he opened shut and steps back to face the table, “I want a vote and I want it clean. If you all decide to go with Donna, then you can go ahead and do the IPO without me. I quit.”

“Cam,” Donna says, soft. “Come on.”

“No!” Cameron yells, “I’m sick of this. Go and take a hard look at this company and ask yourself who made it what it is and who’s just been along for the ride. 

“Cameron, please don’t do this,” It’s Gordon this time and Cameron laughs. 

“You want it?” Donna asks, “You got it. But I will not sit by and watch this company die because it’s being held hostage by a petulant child. If we don’t move forward without the IPO, then you can steer this ship into the rocks yourself, because I am out of here.”

“Okay, Bos is right,” Diane tries, “Let’s take a beat, cool off -”

“-Show of hands,” Donna says. “Who is in favour of doing the IPO now, with all that entails?” Her hand goes up easily and Cameron swallows. She looks away from Donna and she isn’t surprised to see Diane’s hand go up. 

Gordon’s is next and Cameron snaps, “You’re not even fucking her anymore!” She yells it, quick and harsh, and Gordon frowns, and it’s clear he still has no idea. There’s part of her that wants to add _I am,_ but Gordon isn’t the one she wants to hurt. She wants to hurt Donna, whose expression hasn’t changed, but who can’t look at her. She wants Donna to feel as awful as she does, like she just lost everything she ever had. Donna, who she never expected would do this, who she trusts, who knows more than anyone else. 

“You’re breaking my goddamn heart,” Bos says and Cameron knows it’s over.

\--- --- ---

Donna chases her. 

Cameron isn’t expecting it and she runs down the stairs and then stops. There isn’t anywhere obvious to go. Her apartment is half Donna’s and it isn’t like she has friends other than Mutiny in California. 

“Cam!” Donna yells. “This isn’t - you don’t have to _leave,_ this isn’t - we aren’t breaking up.”

“We aren’t dating!” Cameron yells. “We aren’t - we just - this is what the vote was, if you won, I leave, and congratulations, you won.” Cameron wishes it was raining. It’d be fitting, a pathetic fallacy, but mostly so it’d hide her tears. She hates crying and feeling pathetic, running away from an entire room of people she trusts, people she considers family but who voted her out of her own company anyway.

Donna flinches like Cameron hit her, like she’s the one who lost. Donna gets to keep Mutiny. She got to keep Gordon, even after she left him, and Bos picked her too. 

“This isn’t about us,” Donna says, slowly. “This isn’t - it isn’t _personal._ I want - I don’t want you to leave me.” 

“Nothing is personal with you,” Cameron reminds her. “I’m not the one leaving. You voted me out. It was your fucking choice.”

“I didn’t vote you out,” Donna hisses, “I voted to move forward with the IPO. It’s _our_ company, you can’t just - this isn’t about _us.”_

“It’s - it was _my_ company,” Cameron says. “And there was never an us.”

Donna takes a step back. She isn’t crying, not yet, and Cameron has to leave before she does. “Gordon told you before I could,” Donna says. “I wasn’t going to blindside you. I was going to tell you and give you a chance to -”

“-to what, Donna?” Cameron laughs, “beg you to change your mind? Give you my permission to ruin my own fucking company? I never needed you. You didn’t build this - you’re not - you can’t run this without me.” 

“I don’t _want_ to,” Donna says. “Cam, please - this doesn’t have to be over.”

“It is over,” Cameron says, “all of it. Mutiny, you and me, it’s done.” 

It’s hard to turn around. It’s hard to not look at Donna’s face, built for heartbreak, wide eyes and quivering lips, clenched jaw. There’s a mark right above her collarbone that Cameron left, the reason Donna’s wearing a turtleneck even though it’s August in California. 

It’s hard, but Cameron still does it.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm @ camhowe on tumblr :)
> 
> **parameter:** a numerical or other measurable factor forming one of a set that defines a system or sets the conditions of its operation; the variable listed inside the parentheses in the function definition.


End file.
